If you’re not interested in the WHY, just how to improve your self-image, scroll past this.
From the copious amount of advice you get – from self-improvement gurus (ironic), multi-millionaires and from those who are the top of their respective field – this one resonated and stuck with me the most.
“A poor self-image is the magnifying glass that can transform a trivial mistake or an imperfection into an overwhelming symbol of personal defeat.” David D. Burns
“You can’t out-perform your self-image”
Often in your journey of personal growth and success, you’ll notice three crucial elements stand at the forefront: self-image, self-confidence, and self-esteem.
What i call the pillars not only define who we are but, also shape how we perceive ourselves and navigate the world around us.
Lets delve into these concepts, understand their significance, and explore how they relate to our own experiences.
Understanding the Core Differences
Before we dive into the profound impact of self-image, self-confidence, and self-esteem, it’s crucial to differentiate between them.
1. Self-Image: This is the mental picture we hold of ourselves. It includes our beliefs about our abilities, appearance, behavior, and the thoughts we think others have about us. In essence, it’s the image we construct of who we are.
Using my personal experience as a former big body fella, (28% BF down to 13 / 14%), sometimes i carry around the mental image of my former self. Even though i’m not 28% BF, i construct the same image, thoughts and behaviours of one. It’s the previous self-image I’ve constructed for myself. Simply, even though i’m not what i once was, my mind tricks me into thinking i still am. See how this works?
You are what your mind projects, even if you are not.
2. Self-Confidence: Self-confidence is the trust we have in our own abilities to perform tasks, regardless of whether the circumstances are familiar or not. It’s the unwavering belief that we can achieve what we set out to do. Can be tied to your self-image, depending on what that is. If you see yourself as a failure, you’ll carry that in your confidence. Using the example above, i was initially petrified of boxing training because of how i perceived myself, letting it affect my self-confidence.
3. Self-Esteem: Self-esteem is our ability to genuinely like, admire, and value ourselves. It’s the emotional foundation that helps us recognize our self-worth and acknowledge our value as individuals.
Why Self-Image Matters
Why does all this matter and why should it apply to you in gaming or life?
Your self-image is intimately connected to both self-esteem and self-confidence.
1. Consistency with Self-Image: The first discovery is that all our actions, feelings, behaviors, and abilities align with our self-image. Take home message, CORE point, we tend to act in a way that is consistent with how we perceive ourselves. This fundamental principle means that no matter how strong our willpower, our actions will always reflect our self-image. I’ll explain how i tackled this in an esports sense, later.
2. The Link to Self-Esteem: A poor self-image often results in low self-esteem AND low self-confidence. When we view ourselves negatively, it’s challenging to genuinely value and appreciate who we are. Conversely, a positive self-image contributes to improved self-esteem and an overall better sense of self.
3. Links to psychiatric disorders and depression: poor self-image and therefore poor self esteem are what’s considered as a transdiagnostic construct. Simply, one of the main risk factors or maintaining factors for a disorder. Poor self esteem can lead to what’s called rumination. Basically, a preservation strategy your body uses when you start thinking negatively. CORE point: the worse your self-image and self-esteem, the increase in chance you have of developing various mental disorders such as depression (Hagen et al., 2020)
There is a lot of awareness and virtue signalling for mental health in men but, lets find practical, simple ways to help those.
Very important to you aspiring competitors out there
I attribute a lot of my failings as a competitor due to my lack of self-image, self-confidence and self-esteem. Esports is fortunate to not have to deal with the genetic and physical variables of traditional sports. You don’t have to push when your body is screaming on fire, no. Stuff like reaction speed are marginal differences, at best.
However, like sports and if not more, your mental strength, built by your pillars, will play a massive part in your success as an esports player.
In my time, i’ve seen people mock the “delusion” of players like censor but, i view this as self-confidence. The same delusion i want all my athletes, traditional or not to possess. All the greats that i’ve worked with, have this. All the books you read of greats, have this. Your self-image DEMANDS that “delusion“. If you can’t see yourself being great, how will you out-perform your self-image?
Even if you don’t achieve the standards of your self-image and aim for the stars, you’ll still put yourself in a position to land on the moon. Goes with any facet of life, the same delusion i had back at university. Heard of the phrase, fake it till you make it?
I could not see myself being consistently great as a player, and it’s why i failed.
The only two experiences where i had this delusion and positive self-image, all be it unintentionally, was against Complexity at Anaheim 2018 and against Rise at WW2 champs 2018. No surprise, my best individual performances.
Delusion in your self-belief and the pillars. Not delusion in your ego and practise methods. Difference.
If you have read my previous blogs, you’ll know i retired from esports and went back to medical school. Because of this, I used to view my self-image like a solid brick wall. A tiny bit of humble-bragging but, before joining NYSL, I possessed high self-confidence and self-image having successfully completed my studies with the highest grade, lost weight, excelled as a boxing head coach and ready for my masters program at a redbrick, top 5 university. I was on a high.
However, when I joined NYSL as a performance coach in 2021, it felt like my self-image hit a brick wall. Imposter syndrome took hold, and I questioned whether I truly deserved to be there amongst some of the best in the world. The same weak self-image which resurfaced for myself as a player many years ago.
My self-image became a barrier, preventing me from leveraging my skills and experiences, that i proved i had from my other fields.
I hesitated, fearing mistakes and overthinking every decision. This internal struggle was all too familiar; you might have felt like a different person in various situations, too. Regardless of everything that happened that year, my biggest challenge was my self-image. Self-image preventing me from truly using my experiences and skill i had learnt.
As arrogant as this sounds, When i noticed my lack of confidence in situations, my self-image, self-esteem and self-confidence from my other fields would tell me that working in esports should be a walk in the park. I’ve worked in more troublesome sports and i’ve worked with cancer cells which required more thought power than COD esports did. I CAN do this. I WILL do this.
But, my esports self-image would not allow me to do so, to be relaxed and make a mistake. So frightened and weak minded because my self-image told me i didn’t deserve to be at this stage, that i would be afraid to make mistakes. When you’re afraid to make mistakes, you inevitably, make more mistakes.
You probably feel it too? When you’re in different situations, you feel like a different person. Or you lock up, anxious. When you do something your self-image lines with, you feel a natural ease. Like you’re a different person.
This struggle continued until i decided to work on it at the end of the 2022 season.
The Turning Point
Fast forward to 2022, I had an epiphany. Why should I let my esports self-image hold me back? What if I could do everything they could do? Why can’t i do more than they could? I realized there was no inherent, genetic differences between “you” and “I.” It was time to stop feeling sorry for my self-image, ignore others’ opinions, and embrace mistakes as learning opportunities. Control what you can control, and what we can control is our self-image.
Stop feeling sorry for your self-image, screw anyone’s opinion, make mistakes and go out and take it. Greatness doesn’t care.
Why create a roadblock on your path before you even begun? You realise, as human, we like to exaggerate our anxiety. You’ll find, when you push past that road block, during the process it doesn’t exist at all.
Developing Unshakable Confidence
I began my journey towards change by developing internal confidence bordering on delusion. I stopped living life thinking I’d lost before I even tried. Even if I failed, I decided to be relentless in my pursuit.
During 2023, while working at NYSL, we utilized ideas from traditional sports to enhance our strategies, even if they were initially controversial. With a shifting self-image, I cared less about judgment and more about the pursuit of greatness. I was no longer afraid to make mistakes, and this shift in mindset was transformative.
To paraphrase the greatest COD player of all time, Crimsix: Unshakable belief in winning, humility in preparation and unshakable confidence in execution.
Now, let’s explore what worked for me in the development of my self-image. It could help you develop that unshakable confidence and positive self-image you need to be your best.
Meditation and Visualization: Incorporate meditation and visualization into your routine. Begin with deep abdominal breathing (DAB) and progress to visualizing your strengths and positive qualities. Embrace self-compassion and allow yourself to think positively. The more you feel it’s delusional, the better. Seek comfort in delusion.
REMEMBER: delusion is the pre-cursor to the great things you can do.
How do we begin about working on our self-image. For me, meditation and visualisation were key. Here’s what i want you to do, taken from taoism:
- Do this while seated. Close your eyes, Inhale through your nose and feel your belly expand like a balloon
- As you can’t inhale anymore, lower your shoulders and raise your head. Inhale through your nose as much as you can, until you can’t anymore
- Tense your abs / stomach as you control your exhale in sharp short bursts – 5 times – through your nose. Count down the bursts. You’ll need practise to empty your lungs by 1.
- This is deep abdominal breathing, do this entire process 5 times or until you feel relaxed.
- Once you feel relaxed – usually by feeling light or at ease – come up with an anchor phrase. Your relaxation will be associated with the word or phrase. Mine is: Calm and confident, I don’t dominate, i demonstrate
- Visualise all your strengths, all your positives. This is self-compassion. What are you good at? Strong at? who’s opinions do you care about? who’s do you not care about?
Sources:
Hagen, R., Havnen, A., Hjemdal, O., Kennair, L.E.O., Ryum, T. and Solem, S. (2020). Protective and Vulnerability Factors in Self-Esteem: The Role of Metacognitions, Brooding, and Resilience. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. doi:https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01447.
